The Pitch

Since the pitch to a story is a crucial part of drawing in readers (and publishers for that matter), I thought I would post a VERY rough pitch of my book. Life is crazy right now for this writer, so instead of leaving you to wait to read something from me on this blog for awhile, I decided to throw out this pitch. If you have any suggestions to make it better, let me know (I just realized that it is one sentence, so I could probably work on that one!)! For your information, my book is in the genre of young adult fantasy.

Little did Prim, an orphan who did not like any attention directed toward her, realize at the time she entered the contest that she’d be immediately thrust into the upper tier Elite of Medadrom society to not only fight for her right to represent the Kingdom of Medad at the Universus, but fight quite literally for her life as she unwittingly interferes in the pinnacle events of a decades-long plan to corrupt the Kingdom of Medad and stumbles over evidence of an even greater threat to the ten United Kingdoms of Vertus.

In all honesty, would you want to read my book after reading that?


  1. I think it sounds like an intriguing book and would definitely want to read it! I don't know much about writing pitches, but the only thing I might tweak is making it more general (i.e. there were a lot of names of things & places in there I don't know yet since I haven't started reading the book so it was harder to follow). I don't know though because including some names is important! I'll leave it to the pro! Any idea when it will be ready to read :) You have anxious fans!

    1. Thanks for the feedback! I'm wanting to have it ready before the end of the year (sooner if I can). Then its availability depends on my success finding a publisher (There is the option too of self publication via eBook).

    2. Abbey it sounds like you have some good potential in the book. Just a couple pointers (as the husband of a writer speaking here):
      1. Your pitch is one big run on sentence. It would be more understandable if broken into several shorter sentences.
      2. There is a lot in here, and it sounds like a cool story. One question I have is what is the relative time frame? Is this medieval? Futuristic etc.
      3. Who is your target market? That makes a difference in how the pitch needs to be phrased. Is this traditional fantasy? More sci-fi? etc.

      You have a good start here. :)

    3. I appreciate your comment. You made some valid points (the book is young adult fantasy). Thanks again for the feedback!

  2. Oh, my! It's a 92 word sentence.

    I was once given this advice:

    Explain your story in one sentence. Then in one paragraph. Then in one page.

    If you can do this, then you probably have a good idea of what your story is about and you'll learn to weed out extrainious details that may be important to you as the writer but aren't necessarily important to your reader.

    Good luck with the novel. Happy writing!